The Phantom Tribune - Lunar Festival Edition

Marcy Willow: 'G', you’re known for your

groundbreaking work across sculpture, painting, film, and

of course, that you have continued your work even after

death. Tell me, how is it being a ghost?

G: Honestly, It’s just fantastic. Being a ghost is so

freeing! I can return every Lunar Festival, put up my most

recent works, do a little press for my new projects. It’s a

dream.

MW: Incredible, I must say, while you have been dead

for a few years now, you still put out high quality work.

Actually, a little bird tells me your child, Hogwood, is

exploring a new creative path with their ventriloquist act.

Have you seen the show yet?

G: Oh, I’ve seen it, and honestly darling… It’s a

complete train wreck. Hopscotch—the puppet—is a

disaster, and the comedy is nonexistent. It’s hands down

the worst thing they’ve ever done. I’ve seen bad art in my

life, trust me, but this was next-level bad.

MW: That’s some tough love for your child’s work. As

an artist who’s known for pushing boundaries, do you

think you’re setting too high of a bar for Hogwood?

G: Look, I’ve spent my life creating things people

might not understand—explosions, implosions, broken

sculptures—but at least there’s purpose. With Hogwood’s

act, there’s none. It’s like they’re throwing ideas at the wall

and hoping something sticks. It’s not enough to be

weird; there has to be substance behind it.

MW: Do you feel any responsibility to guide them as a

fellow artist?

G: I don’t coddle. If you want to be an artist, you need

thick skin. As I’ve told them before, they need to rethink

their whole career. I mean, Hopscotch, the puppet? That

thing should’ve exploded on stage and spared us all the

misery.

MW: So, you’re saying there’s no hope for Hogwood?

G: I’m saying they should quit while they’re behind.

Sometimes, knowing when to walk away is the greatest act

of creativity.

MW: That’s harsh, but fair. Do you think Hogwood

will take your advice?

G: They better. In fact, please bold this next bit will

you dear? Just put the whole thing in all caps. -

HOGWOOD, I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS. IT’S

TIME YOU TUNE INTO YOUR TRUE CALLING, LOVE. I

LEFT YOU A SPECIAL WORK OF ART, JUST WITHIN

EYE LINE OF THAT DUSTY LITTLE PICTURE HOUSE.

IT EMBODIES THE CAREER YOU SHOULD HAVE

TAKEN.

MW: Well, there you have it. Not many would expect

this level of critique from a parent, but you’ve never been

one to hold back. Thanks for your time, 'G'.

G: Always a pleasure to set the record straight.

Interview by Marcy Willow, Phantom Tribune