The Phantom Tribune - Lunar Festival Edition

Marcy Willow: 'G', you’re known for your groundbreaking work across sculpture, painting, film, and of course, that you have continued your work even after death. Tell me, how is it being a ghost?

G: Honestly, It’s just fantastic. Being a ghost is so freeing! I can return every Lunar Festival, put up my most recent works, do a little press for my new projects. It’s a dream.

MW: Incredible, I must say, while you have been dead for a few years now, you still put out high quality work. Actually, a little bird tells me your child, Hogwood, is exploring a new creative path with their ventriloquist act. Have you seen the show yet?

G: Oh, I’ve seen it, and honestly darling… It’s a complete train wreck. Hopscotch—the puppet—is a disaster, and the comedy is nonexistent. It’s hands down the worst thing they’ve ever done. I’ve seen bad art in my life, trust me, but this was next-level bad.

MW: That’s some tough love for your child’s work. As an artist who’s known for pushing boundaries, do you think you’re setting too high of a bar for Hogwood?

G: Look, I’ve spent my life creating things people might not understand—explosions, implosions, broken sculptures—but at least there’s purpose. With Hogwood’s act, there’s none. It’s like they’re throwing ideas at the wall and hoping something sticks. It’s not enough to be weird; there has to be substance behind it.

MW: Do you feel any responsibility to guide them as a fellow artist?

G: I don’t coddle. If you want to be an artist, you need thick skin. As I’ve told them before, they need to rethink their whole career. I mean, Hopscotch, the puppet? That thing should’ve exploded on stage and spared us all the misery.

MW: So, you’re saying there’s no hope for Hogwood?

G: I’m saying they should quit while they’re behind. Sometimes, knowing when to walk away is the greatest act of creativity.

MW: That’s harsh, but fair. Do you think Hogwood will take your advice?

G: They better. In fact, please bold this next bit will you dear? Just put the whole thing in all caps. -

HOGWOOD, I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS. IT’S TIME YOU TUNE INTO YOUR TRUE CALLING, LOVE. I LEFT YOU A SPECIAL WORK OF ART, JUST WITHIN EYE LINE OF THAT DUSTY LITTLE PICTURE HOUSE. IT EMBODIES THE CAREER YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN.

MW: Well, there you have it. Not many would expect this level of critique from a parent, but you’ve never been one to hold back. Thanks for your time, 'G'.

G: Always a pleasure to set the record straight.

Interview by Marcy Willow, Phantom Tribune